Yesterday, I took my daughter grocery shopping at a nearby Kroger. As I was heading to the checkout, a lady working behind the customer service desk, in a loud voice, asked if she could buy my daughter. I was too stunned to say anything beyond, “umm…No.”
Why would anyone ask to buy someone’s kid?
Yes, my kid is cute, and too many people have commented on it. (Seriously, it’s annoying when trying to quickly get in and out of the store.) One even suggested that we enter into the Gerber Baby contest.
I don’t know where the idea came from that you should ask a stranger if a baby purchase is possible, and it is just as disturbing as telling a kid that you want to eat them up. Why is it acceptable to eat children and to sell them? It never has made sense to me.
With that said, let us be cheeky and investigate if this customer service agent at Kroger could actually afford my child. As with everything, living creatures are sold with their pedigree in mind, so here is a limited break down of my daughter’s lineage.
My daughter is a first generation American, a daughter of the American Revolution, a daughter of a Union Veteran, a daughter of the Kenyan Kikuyu tribe that fought against colonial rule, and may be descended from the first Holy Roman Emperor, (some genealogies say we are directly descended from Charlemagne.) and the kings before and after him. Oh, and don’t forget that she is FREAKING ADORABLE!
Given all that, I don’t think that the customer service agent at Kroger could have afforded my child. Even if this lady was a store manager, she would have needed to mortgage her house a couple times over to afford just one attribute of my daughter’s ancestors.
Oh, I guess there is that love thing that I feel for her too, so I guess the short answer is, “No, you cannot buy my daughter.”
Photo by Frontierofficial – Licensed under CC by 2.0 – Removed the white bars around photo.
What about renting? Most people wouldn’t really want to keep the kid long term they just want to show them off for a while.
LOL. Nope, no renting. The background checks alone would take too long, and I would want more protection than the major credit card companies can give.